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"It's like a fire under your ass." - Joel "You would call em nerd." - Benji "Shut up!"- Joel to Benji. Joel reads post, "'Dear Benji and Joel, I love 'Seein' Red' by UL, but I'm worried that the song will get played too much and I'll get sick of it'...blah." Benji: "Shut up kid...we're gonna play it for you...you won't get sick of it. or something like that...erm...." "This video was shot in an old theatre...that's where Joel lives, in a dirty old theatre...'Get outta here kids'" - Benji Post: Dear Benji and Joel, you guys are always fighting and I think since you're brothers, you guys should hug just once... Joel: No. Sorry, no. Benji: Yeah. Joel has this thing where he doesn't touch people and he washes his hands a lot. "Bonjour Beotch." - Benji Benji: I personally dont find it hard being married and being on tour. Joel: You're not married. Benji: Oh...right. Joel: ...and you never will be! "I wish we had a coffee table and a cup of water here on ATR and i am getting sick of these tattoo designs behind me..." - Benji Benji: I remember when we called Limp Bizkit to produce our video, he never called us back. I auditioned for guitarist, he never called back. I called his mom, he never called back. Joel: I got a red hat. Joel: Now, we don't have a platinum record. We don't even have a gold record. Benji: We have a record." Joel: I do have some gold teeth. But no gold record...or whatever. Benji: And I've been known to wear some platinum. For weeks, man. For weeks!" (talking about No Doubt's video game) Benji: I'm buying that one. Joel: I got play station 2 points at benj He's got x-box. Benji: Billy and Paul bought me x-box. I think they just got it so they could play with it though. Joel: Yah. Thanks guys, Billy and Paul. We love you guys, anywayz.... Joel: But first, let's play the first video for tonight. Benji: That was good both laughs Joel: Thanks. (Talking about the HFStival) Benji: Some of the bands that will be playing are Quarashi, Alien Ant Farm, P.O.D., Eminem. Joel: Incubus... Benji: Yah. Joel: Yah. Benji: Alright, you sure about that? Joel: ...No. (Stephanie: HAHAHAHA, yeah Incubus wasn't there...) Benji: (reading post) 'Do you guys read actual posts or do the writers give you something?' ... Do you think that we're puppets? I don't make this stuff. Some kids wrote these things on the message boards. Joel: This show can't afford writers. Benji: Do you think I write these? Here, listen. 'Benji is hot,' 'Benji is god,' 'ATR rocks,' 'Benji is cool,' I don't think I write these. We are not puppets! Joel: "No more posts for you." (snatches posts from Benji) Benji: C'mon Joel, who's tougher? Joel: Okay, he is. No wait actually we have this dog named Cash. Benji: Yeah, Cash. "This next video is Blink 182's First Date...Joel's still yet to have one." - Benji "This next video reminds me of my brother Joel...he used to walk around the house all the time...always rockin the short shorts." - Benji Benji: You guys, this is an interesting fact. Joel dressed up like the Karate Kid 7 years in a row. Joel: Hey I like uh Mr. Miagi, I was Mr. Miagi. Benji: No you were the Karate Kid. Joel: Oh. Benji: Anywayz, uh thought you might wanna know that. Joel: My name is Joel. This is Benji, my brother. Benji: I hate you. "I'm gonna read it but if I mess up, this is just a practice time." - Benji "Wow, Joel, that's a lot of videos to live up to. Thumbs Up" - Benji
	Joel "It takes him like 15-20 minutes to get ready" Benji "15-20 minutes that isn't bad to get ready" Joel "It takes me like 5. No less" Benji "It's easy for me, cos I wear the same clothes everyday...pretty much" Paul "We love that on the tour bus by the way" Benji (laughs)"I dont smell bad...not that bad....whatever" Joel: We're a rock band,but we're heavily influenced by mo... mo... mostly punk... Joel: We started when we were 16, thats when we started the band, but uhhhh, we just wanted to be in a band, we'd been going to a lot of punk shows, and uhh, we weren't really doing anything and we wanted to do something, we wanted to be a part of something, and so we wanted to start a band, so we just started it Joel: I happen to think all thats kinda cheesy, that whole thing, that Rock 'n' Roll, Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n'Roll... Joel: "Whats up this is Joel from Good Charlotte and i'm gana kick anybodys ass who wants to bring it on at the go karts tomorrow, BRING IT ON, let me see what you got." Two guys climb off the balcony onto the stage and stage dive, feet first, into the crowd Benji: If you're gonna stage dive, do it like this (leans forward with arms out) not like this (leans back with feet out) 'cause some people down here in the front row got crushed (points at the crushed people) Joel: We wrote this song with our friends about September 11th. And we're really proud to have New Zealand as an ally and your support means a lot to us. Paul: "This is Paul" Joel "Im Joel" Benji " And Brad spelt backwards is DARB" All Cackle loudly like Terence and Phillip Joel: "Well your listening to Brad on The Edge and were Good Charlotte keep it locked right here" Stagg (to Benji): Oh, can I ask why you have safety pins on your crutch? Benji: Because my pants ripped this morning, so I had to safety pin them up. Stagg: Do you know how many kids are gonna be running round with safety pins on their crutch now? Benji: Yeah, I've actually seen some people with it on already. Benji: (consentrates hard on fast speaking accent man) Billy: (consentrates hard on fast speaking accent man, gives up and stares at ceiling) Go Kart Guy: (finishes explain rules) Does everyone understand that? All: Yep, yeahs Billy: (softly) I think so..... Go Kart racer Girl: (drives recklessly near Paul) Paul: ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!?! (A few laps later in the race the girl goes missing, everyone turns around to see that she has taken out Billy and Benji in the same corner) Paul: (coming last in race) Joel: (walks on platform nearest to track) YOU SUCK! (motions with hands) Paul: (Takes hands off wheel and shrugs) Joel: (walks across platform and repeats) YOU SUCK!! Start of race Billy skids off track and needs a lil help) Go Kart Guy: OK, now we're gonna change the track and make it a bit harder... Billy: Uh oh..... (When the final scores are tellied Benji and Billy recieve gift pack containing a bottle of Champange and other stuff for coming third place) Benji: (looks at bottle of champagne walks to nearest person) Here ya go... (hands bottle to underage stranger) Underage drinker guy: (accepts bottle) Dominic:"Ok guys well I found this on the internet...(Rustles paper) and I want you to sing it ok? I found it at a site for worlds most mis-heard lyrics..ok so guys here you go, now sing it. Joel: "You want me to sing it" Dominic: "YEAH" Benji: Laughing...Ok ok ok Benji: starts playing 'little things' slowly... Benji: "The chicken wings, the chicken wings, they are golden brown, the chicken wings, the chicken wings, they always weigh me down" All laugh "dude! dude! i told you not to wear my socks. dude, you know that i like my socks. Benj, dude are those my boxers too? Dude! ah! ah! you had to go there!....i don't care. Are those my boxers???"-Benji mocking Joel Benji "I have a confession to make: I love making out. It's fun and innocent, and besides, no one ever got pregnant from making out." "One egg, one sperm, two babies." "Black nail polish didn't come with testosterone." "Thanks to Burt Backarach, red wine and candlelight and most of all thanks to my parents for doing it." "Life is Benji... The rest is just details... Benji is life." "Blah, blah, blah, you got any coffee?" (Benji as Train) "My mum's the strongest lady that I know" "Keep representin' GC, 'cause you know we're representin' you." billy (When asked who sleeps the most) "Benji always claims of being an insomniac, but I swear as soon as we go on the van, he's like dead asleep." Dusty "The trams here are scary." (Melbourne, Australia) Joel " If I were in that pit, I'd be making out with every one of you!" "You can only start a boy band if you kill one of the other ones already out there." "Hi, we're Train... we're serious rockers... let me put on my leather pants... and open my shirt... to appear younger." (Joel as Train) "He's like a little brother to us all. We like to pick on him, all of us, you know, like brothers do." (About Billy) "She was really hot ... I want to ask her out on a date. Maybe in a year or so I may have to take her to Vegas and get married." (About Mandy Moore) Paul "Billy drives like an old grandma." "Watch out I might have rabies" Joel: For all those people who thought they were having cybersex with Benji online they were wrong, its not Benji you're having cyber sex with." Benji: Yeah, I'm too shy anyway" (has a huge grin on his face to say that he actually was having cyber with people online). Joel: There's a thing called a water break. Benji: YAH BILLY, PAUL, AND DUSTY! Joel: Ya, and we haven't played little things or seasons. Benji: Joel talks like we have hits. Joel: No, i don't. Benji: Hey you know who joel was like in high school? (pause) Ralph Wiggum. . . Joel: No i wasn't. . . We're gonna play some slow songs. . Benji: Cause punkers have feelings too. Benji: We stole all of Paul's clothes and made him play naked..... One time we cut Billy's arm off Interview: Do you play pranks on eachother? Benji: One time we dropped a boulder on Billy's head Paul: I dropped an anvil on Benji Joel: I killed Paul's whole family Benji: I put rat poison in Billy's food one time Billy: I murdered Paul's entire family Paul: I'm still getting over it but you know it's alright, it was funny though Benji: One time I ripped off all of Billy's toenails Paul:Alright, lets move onto the next question!! Benji: When i meet girls i like, I throw up on them Billy: I don't think there is such thing as a band selling out Benji: Life is Benji... The rest is just details... Benji is Life Benji: I have what you want Joel: You Wish! Billy: Princess! Interview: If you could be any barbie doll, what would you be? Benji: MALIBU STACEY! MALIBU STACY! I would be Malibu Stacey! She has a cool car Billy: I would be Ken so I could be getting up on Barbie all day Benji: I would be the barbie with the interchangeable boobs Billy: I can juggle

	"Yeah, and your teeth are clenched together, and you are like, 'It's cool, man. I'm fine.'" - Joel (on getting painful tattoos) "I love all women!" - Joel "Ohhh, the scalp massage. It's good. it's a good five minutes on the crown area. It's great." - Joel "I got kicked out of class so much and it wasn't fair because I was just talking. In class, if there was a pretty girl, I would just try to talk [to her] all the time. I like to talk, especially to girls. And I got kicked out of class all the time. The teacher would be like "All right, stop," and I'd be like "okay," and keep talking. Then I'd try to impress her and it wouldn't really work. I'd get kicked out for trying to be funny, like they'd call me up to read and I'd read the wrong thing. I didn't take high school very seriously." - Joel "Benji's the evil twin." - Joel "One time I wanted to ask this girl to a dance, it was homecoming or something. I was too nervous because I get a little shy sometimes. Benj is definitely outspoken and I was like 'Call her and say you're me,' cause we sound alike. He called and aksed her to the dance for me. She said no [laughs]." - Joel "We're just like Ying and Yang, me and him, like night and day sometimes." - Joel (on Benji) "They symbolize that I can do what I want. They ensure that I will never work a regular job." - Benji (on his tattoos and piercings) "I'm learning Italian right now. 'Gratzi.'" - Benji "It's a weird story actually. We were all going to your mom's house. We all got there at the same time and met on the porch." - Benji (on how the band met) "Getting beat." - Benji (on his best childhood memory) "I can freak." - Benji Joel: Yeah, I mean, touring in a van is hard but... Benji: It's hard. Joel: We'll earn our way to a bus one day. Benji: One day. Joel: One day we'll be in a bus but right now we're in a van. "Watch out, I might have rabies." - Paul "Keep representin' GC cause you know we're representin' you." - Benji "If I were in that pit, I'd be making out with every one of you." - Joel "This is a really intimate gathering...(pause, something flys up on stage)...So intimate in fact, that someone just threw their bra up on stage!" - Joel "Hey, guys, I have some bad news for you. We were backing out of the parking lot and I think we ran over Lil Bow Wow. Sorry, our bad!" - Benji "You know who else likes making out? Sum 41. I know from first-hand experience...or, my friend does...." - Benji "So I wanna see all of you making out during this song." - Joel "Life is Benji, the rest is just details. Benji is Life." - Benji "Hold up, we were just singing this song about how poor we were when his cell phone rings!" - Joel "Billy drives like an old grandma." - Paul "There will be no ass signing tonight, I'm sorry for the inconvience." - Billy Would you ever consider turning in your instruments to learn choreography and become a Boy Band? Benji: Umm...after you shot me in the head. "Are you sure you don't want Joel's autograph instead?" - Paul Manda: Dude, your brother's an ass. Joel: Hey, if you're going to diss my brother then I'm out of here....(he leaves). "I gotta go brush my teeth!" - Joel "We got Paul over here sportin' the Ravens. And we got Billy over here rockin' 'Nightmare Before Christmas.'" - Joel "I would have sex with Britney and makeout with Christina, cause you know she's gonna have drama the next day." - Joel Benji: But like, I mean, Graeme, you're a good guy. That's why we're friends and what people don't realize is as you're an entertainer, I'm an entertainer, like any given day someone meets you… Joel: There's Benj! This is, uh, radio bliss, (imitating Benji in grand voice) "You're an entertainer! I'm an entertainer! The world! The world!" Benji: Hold on, you can make fun of me when I'm done making my point. "That's because there is no beer or ladies waiting!" - Joel "We're kids from Waldorf." - Benji "I don't have a phone." - Benji "State your position!" - Benji "Uh, my name's Benji…I grew up in Waldorf…Single white male…Enjoys long walks on the beach…In search of someone sensitive and caring for conversation, friendship, possible serious relationship, coffee or a good book." - Benji "Picture? SURE! You want a picture? Let's take a picture!" - Billy "That's to keep all the fans away from it." - Dusty (on why the gC bus reeks of urine) "You don't have to be athletically inclined to write down basketball scores." - Paul "In the last five minutes, it's Ian...Ian...Ian...Ian...Ian. I guess Ian's looking for me." - Billy "The shit really hit the fan!" - Joel "We really brought down the house tonight!" - Joel "Everybody clap!" - Benji "I'm feeling this crowd so much, I think I'm going to stand in it." - Joel "You want to come back to my house?" - Paul "You guys scare me." - Dusty (to Lauren and me, hahaha) "You don't want to see that." - Dusty (talking about his purple mohawk) "Like this?" - Billy (on how to make the "Phil face", shit that was funny) "I got all the hos." - Benji "I'm scared of cops." - Billy "How erotic." - Joel "Yeah, it's the largest skull and crossbones ever." - Dusty (about his tattoo on his chest) "I murdered Paul's entire family." - Billy "Don't get it wrong, we all hate their dad." - Paul "When I meet girls I like, I throw up on them!" - Benji Benji: I have what you want. Joel: You wish! "That's funny, we were just talking about sex!" - Benji "They call me Benj, they call him Joel." - Benji "Yeah, I'm homeless...I sleep on Benji's couch, but I think he's trying to kick me out..." - Dusty "One time, I ripped Joel's nipples off!...One time I pierced Paul's butt cheeks together." - Benji "It's about being down, being the underdog." - Billy (on "Motivation Proclamation") "This is a sweet song, it's for the guys of MxPx. Cause one night, I was having a real tough night, one of the guys from MxPx invited me on his bus. He helped me out a lot, yeah, he held me all night long." - Benji "My ass smells like Joel." - Benji "I would be Ken so I could be getting up on Barbie all day." - Billy "Yeah, on our day off we went to Disney for our first time and Joel was like a little kid. He was like 'Come on guys we have to hurry to Space Mountain!' And this morning when I walked in the bathroom, I swear I heard him singing 'When You Wish Upon A Star.'" - Benji "I don't want to see anyone leaving single tonight. I want everyone to leave impregnated." - Joel "Where do you work?" - Benji (Thanks, Chrissy!) "Can I open this now?" - Benji (Thanks, Chrissy!) "Eyeliner! Always comes in handy" - Benji (Thanks, Chrissy!) "So you can buy these at any craft store?" - Benji (Thanks, Chrissy!) "This is the get better sign." - Benji (Thanks, Chrissy!) Joel: We represent Waldorf.. Well I know Charlotte Hall.. Trinity Church Road.. Yeah we love Waldorf.. Benji: This is Joel at the mall..."Hey girl, who you with? You ever heard that song 'Little Things?' Yo, that's about me, girl...Awww yeah..." Joel: Paul is 21. He's growing up. Joel: We were at our friend Tim's [Armstrong] house having dinner... Benji: Oh you picked that up Joel. Joel: No... Benji: You just dropped a name. Benji: Did we mention we know John from Goldfinger? Benji: Ovary? Joel: You just witnessed...did you hear when he was talking? He talks over everyone. Your guys' little egos would be bumping like bumper cars talking over each other all the time. (talking about Graeme and Benji) Benji: "Joel wants to be an actor" Steve Feinberg took the little GC seed and maximized it... Steve was the pit bull we needed. He's more than our manager." -Benji

	I would never sign to a label called Death Row." "Waldorf is a hell of a town." "Music is supposed to be an escape. It's supposed to be somewhere you can be yourself, or whatever you want to be." "Instead of going out and shooting people... why don't you start a band?" "We got the shit and piss kicked out of us... one day I got beaten so badly, I laid in a puddle on my own piss and blood and urine... which is the same thing I guess... I wanna apologize to Australia for the words I just used!" ring ring "...Hold on, we got to stop... Aaron, I told you to turn this off... Hold on, I want to see who called... We were singing about how poor we were, then like, the cell phone rings. Haha! --during acoustic version of "Waldorf Worldwide") "Go back to the circus, FREAK!" "I put on pretty good sock puppet shows and I can mime" "I don't smile." "You can call him Benjamin, that's what Momma calls him." "We were put together by the label, we had to try out in a gymnasium... no, just kidding " "Whether they play us on the radio or not, if they put us on MTV or not, it doesn't matter 'cause all of you guys are standing here and we're a family. Punk rock is a family."